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by purple_bird123



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), F/M, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Trans Keith (Voltron), klance, transgender keith kogane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-07-03 03:09:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15810090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_bird123/pseuds/purple_bird123
Summary: Keith feels that something is missing, he just doesn't feel right. Lance promises that whatever it is, he will be with him 100%. After all, that's what finances do.





	1. Comfortable (Day 0)

Keith sighed as he flopped on the couch.

"What's up slugger?" Lance asked walking out of the kitchen, whisk in hand and flour all over.  
Keith shrugged and kicked off his shoes, "do you ever feel like you don't belong in your body?"  
Lance thought and walked over, "no?"

Keith sighed and looked down, "I don't feel like I belong in my body. I just..." He shook his head.  
"Well explain." Lance sat down next to him and put the whisk down, "we got a few minutes before the cake needs to come out."

Keith gave a small smile and looked at him, "I don't feel good about myself. I feel..." He thought, "I feel odd. I've never felt comfortable within my own skin. I thought that was because of abandonment issues but...it won't go away."

Lance looked at him and hugged him, "well what do you think we should do?"  
"We?"  
"Yes. Whatever you're going through I'll be there to support you. After all, that's what finances are for!" He beamed and looked at Keith, "I want to make you feel good about who you are. I really could care less if you were bald. Might be better than that mullet." He winked and tugged on some hair, "that's so 80's."

Keith laughed and looked down again going silent.  
"What's going through your head?" Lance asked looking at Keith his heart sinking to see him so depressed.

"What if...what if I, you know..."  
"No?"  
"Become a female." He whispered.

Lance looked at Keith, "I think you would look super hot."  
Keith looked up and stared at Lance, "but...I wouldn't be the same. I'll have a chest and god! I don't know what to do about my dick!" He groaned and shoved his face in a pillow. "It'll be a horrible sight." He wailed.

Lance rubbed Keith's back, "I don't think so. Besides, that's like every bisexual guy's dream. I get a female and male."

Keith groaned and kept his face in the pillow, "not helping Lance."

Lance smiled and thought, "well...as I said you would look hot in any shape or form. If you think becoming a female is what will make you feel good about yourself then go for it! I don't love you for your gender or sex. I love you for you. Call me pansexual but you know." Lance smiled and shrugged, "love is love no matter with who."

Keith looked up from the pillow and stared at his fiance, "what happens if other's react negatively to me?"  
Lance cupped his face and looked him in the eyes, "fuck them. Well, not literally you're only allowed to fuck me at this point. Who cares, you've got me and that's all that should matter no?"  
Keith looked at him as a tear slipped, "is this stupid?"  
Lance shook his head, "no."  
Keith nodded and looked down as a tear slipped, "I'm nervous..."

Lance hugged Keith, "I'll be there to hold your hand all the way. And don't you ever, worry about me leaving you. I love you, Keith."

keith buried his face into the crevice of Lance's neck and took in the sweet smell of Lance's skin and cried.


	2. Don't Mention It (Day 15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's been going to a psychologist who just isn't getting it. In frustration, he explains to Shiro who helps guide him to Dr.Gravis, a psychiatrist at the Garrison to help sort his feelings out.

"Everything okay?" Shiro asked as he cleaned up from the briefing.

Keith shrugged, "I just have an appointment today. Not really looking forward to it."

"No?" 

"They don't listen." Keith huffed. He had given this rant to Lance every time he came home from the psychologist.

"Have you tried reminding them?"

"It's no use, Shiro. They're stuck thinking it's one thing and won't accept anything else."

Shiro looked at Keith concerned, "are you okay?"

Keith could hear from the tone of his voice he thought he was sick.

"I'm just seeing a psychologist. But they don't seem to understand what I'm feeling. Maybe I'm going insane." He looked at his hands.

"I'm sure you're not going insane." Shiro smiled and placed his hand on his shoulder, "have you tried talking to someone else? Maybe even Dr.Gravis? She's pretty good and she's right here at the Garrison."

Keith shrugged, she probably would just say the same thing. "No use." He shrugged, "she will just say what I'm feeling is just a phase and it's up to me what the real issue is underneath it." His heart sank, what happens if she was right? What happens if he couldn't figure out the real issue! He would have to feel horrible for the rest of his life.

"I'm sure she won't say that." 

Lance also said that when Keith came home and predicted what his psychologist would say the next time they met, more than half the time he was right.

"Look, you're feelings are real Keith, don't deny them when they are confusing and frightening. And make sure you don't let others deny your feelings. Because they are real and you deserve to have them. Remember the time you came to me frantic about the fact you might like Lance?"

Keith gave a small smile, he remembered.

"And now you two are getting married. If you backed down and ignored the feelings you wouldn't be getting married," Shiro smiled.

Keith nodded, "thanks."

Shiro squeezed his shoulder, "don't mention it."

~~~

Keith looked around the waiting room. It looked un-touched and orderly.

"Sergeant Kogane. I wondered when you would walk into my office." A thin and aging woman smiled walking out of her office and placed a folder on the desk, "what can I do for you?"

"Um..." Keith bit his lip. She smiled, "here." She got him a glass of water and leaned against the desk, "take your time. I have all night."

Keith took a sip.

"What can I do for a paladin of Voltron?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Of course. Would you like to sit in my office?" She motioned towards the door she walked out of.

"Sure." Keith followed her in and sat down on the couch. Her office was as clean as the waiting area. A photo was on the wall of her family, "is that your family?" He asked looking at all the smiling faces.

She looked and smiled, "my daughter and her husband, my son with his wife and three children and my husband. He was an Admiral. Just stepped down." She smiled and looked at Keith, "you're engaged to Corporal McClain aren't you?"

Keith nodded, "yea we've been engaged for five months."

"Any wedding plans?" She smiled pouring a cup of tea, "tea?"

Keith shook his head and placed the glass of water on the table, "no. Not yet. I think we just want to enjoy begin engaged first."

She smiled, "wise."

"I was wondering....can you help me with something?" Keith bit his lip in fear she would say no.

"Depends. I am a psychiatrist. I can help you with mental issues but I'm not an ER nurse." 

"No I know." Keith gave a small smile and looked at his hands, "I think I'm female." He whispered.

"You think or know?" She asked calmly.

Keith looked up at her, "what?"

"Well. When you think something there's doubt that it's not real. When you know you're 100% sure it's fact."

Keith thought, "can I just say 80% sure?"

"Of course. So." She drank from the teacup, "what makes you say this?"

"I never felt comfortable with myself. I always thought it was abandonment issues...and I thought they were too because when I was with Lance and the other paladins I felt good."

"But these feelings have come back. So what makes you think you are a female?"

"I just..."

"It's okay." She smiled and reached over and placed her hand on his knee, "it's all safe in these walls."

"I..." He looked up into her kind eyes which looked right at him, attentive. "I enjoy getting my nails done, I often wish I had a chest, and I well...I once tried on a dress as a dare and when I looked in the mirror..."

"She came out." Dr.Gravis smiled.

"Yea." Keith looked up, "I don't know if it's normal or if I'm just a male that enjoys doing female things..."

"Well. I think it's stereotypical for a woman to like getting their nails painted as it is for guys who enjoy truck shows and beer. Have you heard the term gender nonconformity?"

Keith shook his head, "no?"

"It's a term that people use when they don't follow society's norms of behavior and dress. A gender non-conforming person may choose to present as neither clearly male or female but gender-free. They also may dress as a female but conform to their assigned gender as a male. You could be a perfectly healthy, normal, male who enjoys dressing in woman's clothing. Nothing wrong with that."

Keith thought, "but...I don't feel male."

Dr.Gravis nodded, "tell me about how you felt during puberty."

Keith thought back, "awkward? I remember not wanting to ask Shiro about any of my feelings. I felt embarrassed. I just didn't feel right. I didn't like the idea of body hair, the way I looked and formed into a man. I just." Keith sighed, "I hated looking at myself because I felt something was wrong with me. I admired the way Shiro looked but I just..."

"That wasn't for you."

Keith nodded, "I don't mind being healthy and you know have abs and stuff but...I didn't like the figure, I don't like my figure."

"How's sex?"

"It's...I mean, I just..."

"Lights on or off?"

"Usually off."

"Why?"

"I'm ashamed of how I look most of the time. I don't feel like I can perform to my fullest...But I'm scared..."

"Of?"

"What happens if I get top surgery and I keep, you know...Lance..." Keith sighed, "I don't want to make him run off."

"He won't. And I know this because of well many reasons. Whether you get top surgery or not. If you choose to not even change anything or only half of you. When you bring out the female within you will be happy and confident. And that's sexy. You don't need to change anything on your body to be identified as a female. How you want to present who you are and how you want to be addressed, you have all the right to. Try this for me, talk to your fiance and explain what you want to be done. Start simple, start with changing pronouns to feminine pronouns. And let him know, yes you have a male body but you ARE a female. He should respect that."

Keith thought, "okay."

Dr.Gravis smiled, "meet me again in a week?" She stood up.

"Yea." Keith smiled and shook her hand, "thank you."

She smiled, "don't mention it."

 

 

 


	3. Feminine (Day 15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith tells Lance everything, expecting Lance to run out, but of course, Keith get's proven wrong as Lance keeps to his word. He isn't going anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it isn't a mistake, pronouns get changed :) 
> 
> xoxo Purple Bird

"Lance we need to talk." Keith shut the door behind him and dropped his bags as Cosmo came running over barking and practically pushed Keith to the ground, "are you getting bigger?" Keith laughed as the dog licked his face.

"All the time when you're around." Lance smiled leaning against the stair railing, "what's up?"

"I need to get something off my chest...something I haven't told anyone and I think it's time."

Lance looked at Keith and smiled, "so the therapist actually listened this time?"

"Actually, I saw someone new. She was nice. I only shared briefly about what was going on. But on the way home I did some thinking and there's more to it."

Lance smiled, "well come up unless you want some dinner?"

Keith shook his head, "Shiro brought donuts again to the meeting. Actually worked, people were more engaged in listening."

"See! I told him!" Lance smiled as Keith headed up and they walked to the bedroom as Lance fell down onto the bed, "come, come!"

Keith smiled and lay down beside Lance and looked at him, "I want you to know that me being a female did not come to me overnight."

Lance looked at Keith and nodded. "Also," Keith took a deep breath, "I don't want to be considered an it, or a 'best of both worlds' situation. Whatever I do to my body or not I want you to see me as a female, not both."

Lance looked at Keith, "I'm sorry...Keith, I didn't really know what to say. It was a shock. I mean..."

"I know." Keith cupped Lance's face and looked at him, "I know you meant no harm, but please, can you address me in feminine pronouns?"

Lance blinked and looked at Keith, "so...like...what do I tell people? I'm getting married to a wonderful guy or girl?"

"What's feminine?"

"I'm getting married to the most beautiful, stunning and amazing woman! Her name is...wait, you want to be addressed as Keith?"

"For the time being. That is until I find a name I'm comfortable with"

Lance nodded, "Okay."

Keith leaned over and kissed Lance before putting her nose on Lance's, "thank you."

Lance smiled and cupped her face, "you're welcome. I love you, so much and I want you to be happy and comfortable with who you are."

Keith smiled, "you know I understand why this was probably a shocker. And to me, it kind of was to when I came to terms of what I was feeling. I always thought I was different from everyone. Sex and dating weren't something I really thought of. I thought it was a stage and well I was young and..."

"Abandonment issues," Lance said softly and put his forehead on Keith's.

Keith closed her eyes and nodded, "when I went through puberty I yea, had feelings towards Shiro and I considered that normal. But, I just..." Keith sighed and closed her eyes, "I just didn't feel like I belonged in my own body, in my own mentality and sexuality. There was something off. I tried to prove myself wrong. I considered myself gay and for a while, I felt good about that decision. I felt comfortable. But then, my stomach felt ill again. There was something nagging inside me...."

Lance nodded, "go on."

Keith opened her eyes and looked back at Lance, "I took a long hard look in the mirror - fully stripped - and I didn't like what I saw. I wasn't concerned about my body image in a term of being too fat or skinny, but my body didn't feel like my own, my brain didn't feel male. I felt out of place. When I was part of Voltron I pushed these feelings aside. I also admit I secretly admired Pidge. She was confident in her identity and who she portrayed herself as. I wanted to sit her down and talk and ask questions but I tried to push myself not to. I kept telling myself to focus on saving the world and that this feeling will go away."

Lance nodded as Keith took a deep breath, "when I confessed my feelings to you I felt good again. I felt whole and that's when I believed it was you know."

Lance smiled, "of course I know!" He hugged her, "but we both know that isn't the case."

Keith shook her head, "no. When I put on that dress as a dare I looked at myself in the mirror and that feeling I had when I looked myself in the mirror before wasn't there. I felt whole. I felt good. I was ashamed that someone like me - someone who portrays a strong male presence - could like myself and feel good about being in a dress. I pushed that deep, deep down and then my mind wondered. I began paying attention to females and how they walked, held themselves, how they dressed and I craved to be them. I didn't know how to explain it. It's like watching a movie and seeing those stars and being like 'damn! I want to be you!'. I went out on a limb that day when I told you. I wanted to put a title to what I was feeling and female seemed to fit. I am a female. and god." Keith smiled, "I feel good saying that."

Lance smiled and hugged her close, "you are truly a box of mysteries and I fucking love it!"

Keith laughed and nuzzled close to Lance, "for the wedding. I want to wear a dress."

Lance looked at Keith and cupped her face, "and you will look so hot walking towards me. Like so hot."

Keith smiled and kissed Lance as Lance pinned Keith down and ran his hands on her body, "can I fuck you?"

Keith smiled, "hell yes." Pulling Lance down she greeted him with tongue and lots of it.


	4. Nothing You Can Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's fears of abandonment by Lance are put at ease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some nice TLC (tender, love, and care) Kink!  
> Enjoy!  
> xoxo  
> Purple Bird

 

Lance ran his hands down Keith's body and smiled, "I love the way you feel with my touch."

Keith smiled and took Lance's shirt off and smiled, "I love the way you look."

Lance leaned down and kissed Keith adding tongue as wondering fingers ran through his hair making him smile, "frisky hu?"

Keith smiled, "you know how I get."

Lance laughed and took off Keith's shirt and tossed it to the ground and kissed down her body. "You know." Lance smiled and continued kissing, "I've come up with many female terms I can use during sex."

Keith laughed, "only you Lance. Okay, give them to me."

Lance smiled and played with the hem of Keith's pants, "baby girl, cupcake, my gal, princess, my bitch."

Keith laughed, Lance smiled and pulled down the pants and tossed them to the floor along with the boxers, "you like bitch?"

Keith smiled, "only if I'm bad."

"Then get bad! I want to use it. Gives me power." Lance flexed, "I'm just such a good Dom."

Keith laughed and pulled Lance down and kissed him running her hands on Lance's butt and squeezed hard as Lance grinded his hips against Keiths. 

Keith moaned into Lance's mouth - kissing harder. "You like?" Lance smiled and ran his hands down the sides of Keith's body.

"Hurry it up with the cheesy shit I just want to suck you." Keith smiled looking at Lance with hungry eyes. Lance smirked, "ooh demanding. I thought you were the sub. You can't give orders, naughty, naughty bitch." Lance winked as Keith took the hem of Lance's pants and tried sliding them down his body, "please?" Keith begged as Lance's semi-hard dick lay on Keith's already hard member.

Lance smiled, "well since you asked nicely." Lance sat up and brought Keith's face over and Keith took Lance's cock with hunger. Lance hissed as Keith wasted no time to devour it, bringing it deep and placed a hand on his balls and began to gently fondle them.

"Shit Keith, you are needy tonight." Lance placed his hands in Keith's hair and began to thrust his hips. Keith let go of Lance's sack and focused the attention onto his shaft, hollowing her cheeks at each thrust.

"Shit...Any more and I'll cum into your pretty mouth." Lance threw his head back and closed his eyes letting out a small moan, "I can't let that happen." He pulled out with a pop from Keith. 

Keith smirked and wiped the saliva that was dripping from her plumped lips.

"Lay down. I want to look at my gal when I fuck her good." Lance smiled and leaned over and took the bottle of lube and popped the cap open.

Keith lay and spread her legs open and gave a small whine as Lance lubed up his fingers, "got to stretch your pretty little hole don't we?"

"No, Lance just fuck me," Keith begged.

"Again with the demands. Who do you think you are?" Lance looked at Keith, "do I need to gag you?"

Keith shook her head, "no."

Lance smiled, "good." He ran his hands on Keith's thighs and then lubed up Keith's awaiting and hungry hole. "I'm going to make you feel so good, princess." Lance smiled as he sunk a finger into Keith, who whined on the other end.

"You like that?" Lance smiled and did a come-here motion. Keith gave a small moan in response. 

Lance smiled and added another finger and another, this time Keith clenched down hard onto Lance's fingers as he began to stretch it out.

"Needy bitch hu?"

"I change my mind." Keith panted, "don't call me bitch."

Lance smiled, "okay Witch when bad, Princess when good."

Keith gave a small chuckle, "yea that works."

Lance smiled and finished stretching Keith's pretty pink hole before lining his cock head with it and slipped it in with ease. Keith hissed as her hips bucked up.

"Wow, I'm not even fully in and you're so needy, aren't you princess?"

Keith bit her lip and looked at Lance through heavy lids. Lance smiled and slowly sank himself deep into Keith. "Now don't I feel good?"

Keith nodded as Lance smiled and leaned down and kissed with passion with lots of tongue. Keith tried to not choke on the tongue that was exploring every inch of her mouth.

Lance began to slowly thrust causing Keith's legs to wrap around Lance as a small moan escaped between them.

Lance looked down at Keith and smiled and took Keith's hand and held it up over them and held onto it tight, "hold on Princess." He said his voice going an octave lower.

Keith linked her fingers into Lance's and squeezed tight as Lance's thrusts picked up the pace.

Keith didn't want to close her eyes, just wanted to look at Lance who's face was flushed - which probably was the exact same as Keiths.

"God I fucking love your mullet!" Lance smiled and looked at Keith's dark hair which looked like art against the white sheets. Keith smiled, "I knew one day you'd appreciate it."

Lance smiled and kissed Keith, the pace quickening. 

Soon the both of them were panting as the heat between them grew.

"Fuck..." Lance hissed and pinned Keith down before cumming deep inside. "Shit..." He breathed as Keith watched Lance's face fall into a euphoric glow. Keith tried to milk Lance for all he had, moaning alongside Lance.

"That's it, baby, we need you to cum." Lance smiled and looked at Keith and slowly pulled out as Keith gasped.

"I know you hate feeling empty." Lance smiled as he played with the well-used hole and used the cum and lube mixture that was seeping out of Keith.

He brought his attention to Keith's cock and began to play with it. Keith moaned and tried to thrust into Lance's hands but Lance held his ground and made sure Keith didn't do anything without his permission.

"Lance!" Keith shouted hips bucking forward as cum painted Keith's chest and chin.

Lance smiled and licked it up before ending it with a kiss and falling onto Keith, "god you're so beautiful."

Keith looked up at Lance and smiled, "I was worried when I told you this..."

Lance hugged Keith and whispered in her ear, "there's nothing you could do that would make me love you less."

Keith buried her face into Lance as tears slipped, "thank you..."

"I love you so much, Keith."

"I love you too Lance."


	5. The Name Game (Day 20)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The paladins are on a mission, one to get Keith a new name!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's going to be hard to keep up with all the names! So disclaimer,  
> Stage one: Keith  
> Stage two: Kogane  
> Final Stage: Karen

Everyone sat silent, their eyes trained on Keith. Keith suddenly felt small and wanted to coward in Lance's arms.

Shiro's eyes sparkled like he knew this was true all along. Allura, Romelle, and Coran sat there utterly lost. They would have to explain further in detail with them later.

Pidge smiled and was the first to speak, "well, what name do you like? I used Pidge because that's what Matt called me."

Lance laughed, "if we decided to call Keith something I call her we would be in big trouble."

Keith smiled, "yea I don't think I want to be called, Princess, Witch, Baby Girl or Mullet for the rest of my life."

Lance laughed and cuddled into Keith, "well Baby works you know. I'm always going to still call you Mullet when you're annoying."

"You said you liked my mullet a few days ago." Keith laughed. Lance smiled and gave a quick peck on the lips.

"What about Keisha?" Hunk smiled, "Yea that works. It's still the name your parents gave you but feminine. We can call you Keesh."

"I don't want to be an egg pie." Keith stuck out her tongue. Lance smirked, "yummy."

Keith elbowed Lance in the ribs, "what about...Karen?"

"Keitha. It's Scotish." Pidge beamed not listening to Keith.

"Too close." Keith thought, "hu...Maybe when I start the hormones the name will come."

"Or we could ask your mother, see what she would've called a baby girl?" Shiro suggested.

"Yorak." Keith smirked, "I'm pretty positive that's a gender-neutral name."

"So what do we call you now?" Allura spoke up, almost afraid to it seemed.

Keith thought, "I know it's confusing using feminine pronouns with a male name...What about just...Kogane?"

"British way of addressing someone." Pidge smiled, "formal."

"What about Sergeant?" Hunk suggested, "after all that is your title."

"No, no, no!" Lance objected, "I don't want my sub to be a dom!"

Everyone laughed except the three.

Shiro smiled and looked at them, "it's an earth term. Dom is someone who dominating during mating, a sub is the submissive during mating."

"Oooh." Romelle smiled, "so on earth males can also give life?"

"In a sense." Pidge smiled, "but on earth to actually form a new life you need a male and female."

"So now that Kogane is a female, they can have babies! Oh wonderful!" Allura beamed.

"Yes! We shall train them to be great worriers of the galaxy just like their parents!" Coran added as Romelle clapped, "oh they'll be so cute!"

Lance and Kogane looked at each other and burst out laughing which allowed others to laugh too.

"We won't be having children for a long time." Lance smiled, "our families are already pushing it on us so don't you three push it more." Lance smiled.

Allura smiled, "well Voltron always needs paladins when you guys can't fight. Why not your successors?"

"Just like Allura," Coran added, "you see her father was a paladin way before you lot were born...." Coran continued talking as everyone followed along and got into the story.

Kogane looked at Shiro who seemed a little upset. Kogan's heart dropped and stopped up, "Shiro come help me with something."

Shiro looked up breaking out of thought and smiled, "sure what is it?"

"Here," walking out Shiro followed as Kogane led him to the office and shut the door. "What's wrong?"

Shiro ran his hand through his white hair, "I'm so happy for you Keith...Kogane...K....Sergeant?"

Kogane laughed, "call me whatever." Kogane placed a hand on the man's arm and looked at him, "what's going on?" She hated seeing Shiro look so defeated. 

"I know this may be stupid but..." He took a deep breath and looked at Kogane, "I still miss Adam."

Kogane looked at the mans broken eyes and hugged him tight, "I know Shiro...I miss him too..."

Shiro hugged back and let small tears slip, "I'm so happy for you Karen."

Kogane's heart stopped, "Karen...?"

Shiro smiled, "I heard you."

Karen smiled and hugged Shiro closer, "you're so amazing Shiro, and someone is out there for you. I believe they are." Karen looked up at Shiro and gave a smile, "you're such an amazing guy and Adam I know would want you to find love again."

Shiro smiled and looked down at Karen, the tears still slowly slipped, "you're pretty amazing yourself. So brave. Not a lot of people can come out and say something like you did. I'm so proud of you. You're my sister." Shiro smiled as Karen bit her lip and looked down, "I know it shouldn't be weird when someone used feminine pronouns with me but..." Karen gave a small laugh, "god it's so weird. But in a good way."

Shiro smiled, "I'm glad. How's Lance taking this?"

"Pretty good." Karen leaned against the desk, "little shocked at first...wait did you know?"

Shiro shrugged, "I could tell something was up, not sure what. I knew you were gay before you did though." Shiro winked. Karen laughed, "well now I'm not gay so jokes on you."

Shiro laughed, "right you are." Shiro looked at Keith, "I'm going to say it over but I'm so happy for you, and the two of you. I know when the time comes you guys will be amazing parents."

"And you an amazing uncle." 

Shiro smiled and pulled his new sister into a hug, "thanks"

 


	6. Me (Day 105)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's second-guessing his decision. All she wants to be is herself, but who is Keith?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's short, I really hope I'm doing this story justice in the content that I'm providing. I do enjoy writing it and learning more about what it means to be trans.   
> Thanks for the love and support!
> 
> xoxo Purple Bird

Karen stood there and took in the hustle and bustle of the mall. It suddenly felt foreign, like the time when they ventured off to the Space Mall. 

Looking around to make sure it was an "earth" mall, she sighed.

"Ready?" Krolia smiled putting a comforting hand on Karen's shoulder.

"I am." Lance stretched like he was going to run a marathon, "okay let's go to Pink! Get you some hot Pink pants, sports bra or two you know the hormones are kicking in. And I want to see your ass in yoga pants with the word "PINK" on it."

Krolia rolled her eyes and punched Lance in the arm.

Karen smiled going a light shade of pink, "okay let's go to Pink."

Lance smiled and ran over and went directly to yes, the yoga pants.

"Oh look at these! They sparkle!" Lance held up a pair, "what do you think? I think they'll fit your ass nice."

Krolia again rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through the fabric of the sweaters that were on sale, trying to ignore Lance.

"We can get you a nice bra to go with it." Lance looked around and smiled and pulled the closest one by him. It was camouflage. "Hot." Lance winked.

"Yea but..." Clinging her arms to her chest Karen looked down, "I don't know..."

"Why not?" Krolia snatched the bra from Lance and looked at it. She stretched it as she examined it closely. 

"It's just...yea it's kicking in but...I don't...there's nothing to really support."

"What about a sexy bralette?" Lance held up a lacy pink one. 

"Not pink." Karen gave a small smile. Lance smiled, "blue one then?" He held up another one.

"Blue's nice." Krolia agreed, Karen still looked down not meeting anyone's gaze. Krolia placed her hand again on her shoulder.

Without really realizing it, tears formed as dripped to the floor by Karen's feet.

"Babe..." Lance went still and Krolia pulled her into a hug.

Karen pushed out of Krolia's grasp and ran out of the store and out of the mall and got to the car and broke down crying. At this moment dignity left and she fell to her knees, face in her hands as tears flowed.

"Karen..." Krolia sat beside her daughter and lifted her face and kissed the tears falling down, her heart broke to see her child in this state. 

"I'm terrified!" She shook as tears flowed like a waterfall. “What if…what if I wake up one morning and I don’t want to be female? What if I want to still be called Keith? What if people start disrespecting me? What if…what if I…I just…I want to be me…”

Krolia hugged Karen, “what do you want to be called then?”

“Keith…but…that’s not feminine…mum…I’m a female with a male name…that’s…I’m not wanting to give my name up just yet…does that mean…does that mean I’m still male?” Keith looked at her hands and shook, tears slowly dried, eyes now becoming rough like sandpaper.

“No sweetheart,” Pulling her child into a motherly hug Krolia kissed the top of her head, “you are who you chose to be. If you are female you are female. Don’t let anything or anyone define who you are Keith.”

“It’s just…too much…” Keith whispered closing her eyes, “so much is happening…I want to be excited about going shopping, I want to feel confident in trying on a dress or skirts, or just clothes in general. Do I want a bra? Yea…but not now…” Keith shook her head, “it’s too much…”

Krolia squeezed Keith.

“Mum…a little tight…”

“Oh I’m sorry!” Krolia gave a soft laugh and loosened her grip, “want to go home? Teach me how to make dinner for tonight? Maybe let Lance pick some clothes out for you and when you’re ready you two can enjoy playing dress up.” She gave a wink and helped Keith up.

“Where's Lance?" Keith looked around.

"still shopping I said he should surprise you with things. So be prepared for anything."

Keith laughed.

~~~

"Here." Lance held out a small box as he sat down beside Keith in the bed.

"What's this?" Keith looked at it and undid the bow and slowly opened the lid to reveal a stunning necklace. The necklace had a dog tag on it, with a star and a Saturn charm. "Lance..."

"Look." He pointed to the dog tag and flipped it over and Keith's breath stopped. It read _Sergeant Karen Kogane._ "I got it at Things Engraved," Lance said chest puffed out in pride.

Keith picked it up and admired the glitter and the delicacy of this necklace.

"Here." Lance took it and put it on Keith's neck and gave a kiss on the cheek, "what do you think?"

Keith placed her fingers on it and traced the charms and the tag, "Lance...it's...beautiful..." tears formed in the corner of her eyes.  Lance kissed the tear that slipt out and held Keith close, "I wanted something you could wear and feel sexy about it."

Keith smiled and closed her eyes and rested in Lance's warm grasp. "Can we...can we get my makeup done tomorrow? Get your sister over to teach me?"

Lance kissed her cheek and smiled, "of course babe. And I was thinking...haircut? No hairstyle. Get this hair longer and properly you know lengthed instead of this mullett that's so 80's."

Keith jabbed Lance in the stomach and laughed, "yea I was thinking of changing my hair."

"Can I ask you something?" Lance's tone got soft and serious.

"Sure."

"What happened at the mall?"

Keith took a deep breath and looked down at her hands which were still tracing the charms, "it was just a little too much...Lance, I want to get new clothes I do but...It's..."

"Hey, it's okay." Lance kissed her cheek and held her close, "I'm sorry if I got over the top. I didn't realize how much that would affect you. I'm sorry."

Keith nodded and closed her eyes again and sank into his grip, "maybe it's the hormones talking."

Lance laughed, "well welcome to the world of female hormones! I can give you stories of how my sisters oh boy when they were PMS'ing it was hell and waterfalls in the house."

Keith laughed and touched her forming chest, "I'm scared to look at them..."

"Why?" Lance nuzzled his nose into her neck.

"If today's breakdown meant anything..." Keith took a deep breath, "I keep my eyes closed in the shower...."

"Keith, really? Come on." Lance smiled, "take it off I want to see."

Keith looked at Lance and scooted out of his grasp, "I don't know..."

"Please?"

Keith took the bottom of her shirt and slowly took off her top. Lance sat there silent, Keith kept her eyes closed, "well?"

"Hot damn, Keith look at yourself in the mirror."

Keith opened her eyes and looked at Lance who sat there smiling, "go" he said.

Keith turned around and looked at herself in the mirror and looked at his chest. Running her hands on them as tears formed, "Lance..."

Lance scooted and sat behind her and placed his hands on top of hers which rested on Keith's chest.

"Beautiful." Lance smiled.

 


	7. Hard (Day 106)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Life's hard, but usually after the storm flowers blossom, after a volcano explosion, it can produce a whole new strong and striving ecosystem. Keith, we need to hit rock bottom before goodness comes tenfold."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made James Griffin a jerk, please, please! Don't hate me, we need one bad guy after all. Some of the languages may be offensive, so take caution.
> 
> xoxo Purple Bird
> 
> P.S. I know Shiro may come off as a jerk too, again no hate towards this perfect specimen of a man. Things just get heated and we all know that sometimes we say things we regret after.

"Oh look it's Seargent Freak," James Griffin mocked. The young Cadet and her friends giggled behind their hands.

Keith spun around, "you want to repeat that Airman Griffin?"

James smirked as the girls bit their lip.

"You heard me." James took a step forward, his chest puffed out, he was ready to fight Keith.

"Ladies, please leave." Keith barked at the two cadets who looked at Griffin before they ran off. Keith looked right back at Griffin, "say it to my face I dare you."

"You're a freak. We all know it, but no one wants to say it. So, you got yourself a cunt or something?" James smirked.

Keith clenched her fists and hit James square in the nose as blood spurted up.

"The lady's got an arm, impressive." James wiped the blood on his sleeve, causing his uniform to now shine red.

"I can do a fucking lot more!" Keith screamed, the blood boiled and she was going to lose it any second again.

"Can you take me hu bitch? Can you?" James went to hit Keith, but Keith dodged and when the opportunity came she brought James to the ground.

"Get off me, you bitch!" James hissed and pushed Keith off. Keith clenched her jaw and pinned James back down, this time not allowing him to fight back, "I can hit you right now!" Keith screamed, no control over the emotions. Bringing a fist down it was stopped with a firm grip.

"My office now!" Shiro ordered before looking at the small crowd that formed, "don't you all have classes to attend?" He snapped. The cadets rushed off, whispers followed as they disappeared.

Shiro pulled Keith up before he helped James up. Keith was about to lose it on Shiro, how dare he show respect to this man!

~~~

Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose and stayed silent. James had left to get his nose checked out by the nurse, leaving Keith alone with Shiro.

"You're really not going to suspend me are you?" Keith's voice was small, she couldn't remember the last time Shiro lost it on her.

Shiro shook his head, "it's only fair..."

"Fuck it! It's not fair! Shiro, he called me a cunt! A cunt! I can take bitch but that plus freak!"

"I know, I know, calm down." Shiro sighed and looked at the paperwork he needed to fill out, "human resources will want me to suspend you..."

"Bullshit." Keith hissed, "that man should be released from duty!"

"It needs to be further investigated, Keith. Trust me I wish he got what he deserved but laws are laws, we can't bend them. Some laws were even changed to allow people like you in this line of duty" Shiro looked up at Keith.

Keith's heart sank, "what..."

"Keith I..."

"Save it. I resign." She got up and shoved the chair away before taking off the jacket and slamming it down, "tell that to human resources."

"Keith!" Shiro called out but Keith left without paying any more attention to what Shiro was saying.

~~~

"So I heard what happened today. Wow, I can't believe how fast gossip spreads," Lance smiled walking into the kitchen. "Oh...Keith..what happened..."

Keth's eyes were red and puffy, snot dried on her nose, tissues covered the kitchen table.

"Babe...don't let people like James get to you." Lance sat down and took Keith's hands in his.

Keith shook her head, fresh tears began to slip.

"Talk to me..." Lance cupped Keith's face in his hands and made her look at him, "what's going on?" He wiped the tears that slipped.

"Shiro..." Keith sobbed.

"What about him?"

Keith shook her head and broke down, tears flowed like a flood, she cried like she hadn't cried for 10 years.

Lance pulled out his phone and sent a quick text canceling his sister from coming over for a "spa" night, before pulling Keith in for a hug, "I've got you and I'm not going anywhere."

Keith sobbed into Lance's neck, "maybe...maybe I should just be male..."

"No Keith!"

Keith pulled back, "listen we are still using my male name...It's pathetic that I don't want to give it up...what if...what if it's a sign..."

Lance took a tissue and cleared up the snot, "no babe, it isn't a sign. Keith is a beautiful name, who cares what pronoun it's associated with."

Keith looked down, "why is this so hard..." She whispered.

"Life's hard, but usually after the storm flowers blossom, after a volcano explosion, it can produce a whole new strong and striving ecosystem. Keith, we need to hit rock bottom before goodness comes tenfold."

"It's hard...." Keith's lip trembled as she shook.

"I know..." Lance pulled her into him as tears slipped from his own eyes, "I know babe..."


	8. Forever (Year Later)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wow, Mistress you sure are needy." Lance winked and went up and kissed Keith again hard on the lips, making sure he didn't let go of Keith.
> 
> Keith bucked her hips into Lance's hand, "okay fuck it...I want to fuck."
> 
> Lance laughed into Keith's neck, "I don't get you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Just letting you know there are a few more chapters left (possibly 3-4) so things will be wrapping up. Thank you so much for your love and support and I hope I leave this story off with no disappointment.
> 
> xoxo Purple Bird

"Take a look."

Keith bit her lip and opened her eyes and store right at the reflection looking back. Her hair was long, layers were added which made it look more full. She ran her hand through her hair and was amazed by the red streaks added. She told Lance not to add them, she told him it would look hideous but...this was stunning.

Keith's New Hair

"She did an amazing job. Thanks, Larissa." Lance smiled at the hairdresser. She smiled and began to pack up her tools, "don't mention it. I always love to do house visits. I get too stir-crazy in the shop." She stuck out her tongue, "Lance you're due for a haircut too."

Lance whined, "awe you don't like my hair?"

"No." Larissa winked.

"We will make another appointment then." He smiled and led her out leaving Keith in the bathroom, hand running through the hair amazed...you couldn't tell there were extensions...

"You like it hu?"

Keith jumped and looked at Lance, "yea I do...it's..."

"Makes it feel real hu?" Lance went over to the dresser and grabbed two elastics before standing behind Keith and began to brush the hair and divided it, "I want to fuck you and pull on your pigtails." Lance smiled as he tied a piece of the hair to the side. "Just like Harley Quinn's pigtails but sexier."

Keith watched as Lance did the hair up into two perfect and even pigtails.

"Come to the bedroom, let me see what kind of slut you are," Lance whispered in Keith's ear before walking off into the bedroom.

Keith bit her lip and got up and headed in taking off her top and froze quickly bringing the shirt to her chest.

"What's up?" Lance looked over his shoulder as he opened a new bottle of lube, "you can keep the shirt on." Lance eyed the shirt Keith held onto for dear life.

Keith nodded and looked down, "sorry..."

Lance shrugged, "whatever right?" He smiled, "come on over, let me treat you right."

Keith slipped the shirt back on and wondered over to the bed and took a seat.

Lance smiled and stood above her and cupped her face in his hands, "smile gorgeous."

Keith gave a small sheepish smile. Lance smiled and kissed Keith and laid her down running his hands up her body and to her hair before giving a tug on the pigtail. 

"Lance..." Keith groaned.

"Want me to stop?" Lance sat up and took Keith's sweatpants off, "I love it when you go commando." He winked, making Keith blush, "just suck me."

Lance laughed and kissed Keith, their tongues exploring each other's mouths in a hot wet kiss.

"Lance..." Keith breathed pulling back, "take off your shirt."

Lance sat up and stripped his shirt off as Keith ran her hands on Lance's fine and toned stomach. She traced the v-lines and slipped the pants down, "you're so hard." Keith laughed taking in the sight.

"What can I say? You make me so hot babe. You're so sexy." Lance smiled and finished taking off his pants and tossed them on the ground, "get on all fours."

"No foreplay?" Keith whined.

Lance sat there and blinked, "since when do you like foreplay! You're usually pissed at me because I take too long with foreplay."

Keith shrugged, "come on, please? I just want you to." Keith wiggled her hips, "I usually do the foreplay so I want you to do it to me."

Lance smiled and kissed down Keith's body and slipped Keith into his mouth and gently began to suck. His tongue swirled as he brought his head up and down.

Keith moaned running her hands through Lance's thick hair.

Lance smiled and took Keith all in causing Keith to let out a gasp. Slowly Lance sucked back up his lips tight around Keith.

"Fuck..."

Lance smiled and popped it out before taking a firm hold and jerking Keith slowly off staring right at his lover.

Keith looked down at Lance, "kiss me."

"Wow, Mistress you sure are needy." Lance winked and went up and kissed Keith again hard on the lips, making sure he didn't let go of Keith.

Keith bucked her hips into Lance's hand, "okay fuck it...I want to fuck."

Lance laughed into Keith's neck, "I don't get you."

Keith smiled and pushed Lance off and got on all fours lifting her ass up in the air and reached a hand around and spread her ass open, "look at this, don't tell me you don't want to fuck it while you  pull my tails." Keith again wiggled her hips and squeezed her cheek.

"Fuck..." Lance moaned and grabbed the lube and he didn't care how much he got on her made sure he was slick and ready and got himself into Keith.

Keith moaned into the pillow but Lance pulled her up by her hair, "Daddy wants to hear you."

"Oh now You're the Dom?" Keith laughed.

"Switch what can you say?" He slapped Keith's ass and sank a bit deeper into Keith enjoying the moans escaping her lips. He yanked hard on the pigtails as he sank fully in.

"Shit!" Keith moaned closing her eyes and gasping for air.

"You haven't experienced anything yet baby." Lance pulled on Keith's hair and thrust hard and deep into Keith's tight hole.

"Fuck...Shit!!...God Lance!" She chanted over moans escaping her lips and saliva started to form in the corners. Her eyes were closed as she gripped tightly onto the pillow.

"That pillow isn't going to save you." Lance pulled Keiths head up with a snap. "Come on up" He pulled Keith up and wrapped his arm around her as Keith met Lance halfway and kissed him, their mess was sloppy but their tongues were able to find each other in the midst of it all.

"Lance..." Keith moaned as Lance brought his hand to Keith's member and teased the tip.  "Fuck..." Keith cried out sinking into Lance. "I've got you babe." Lance whispered and thrust slowly as the two of them made out.

Their breaths were heavy and bodies began to sweat as Keith felt like she was going to cum, "Lance..." She closed her eyes and her whole body went tight as she came into Lance's hand and onto the sheets. "Fuck...." She wailed as she released it all.

"I know babe..." Lance whispered and kissed Keith's cheek and pulled out before laying Keith down on her back and took his cock in his hand and began to jerk himself off. Keith brought her hand to his tip and teased it with her fingers.

"Shit..." Lance hissed through his teeth as he released his seed all over Keith.

Keith smiled and brought Lance down and kissed him. Both of them catching their breaths they pulled apart and Lance placed his nose on Keiths and smiled, "god I love sex with you." He took hold of Keith's shirt and smiled, "even with this on I think your so goddamn sexy."

Keith smiled and pulled Lance into a hug, and that's where she wanted to stay, forever.

 


	9. Love (Next Day)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Shiro make up.  
> Keith learns to accept how much Lance truly cares for her, and how much she cares for Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming close to the end! Excited?  
> ps. don't worry the wedding will have its own chapter <3  
> xoxo Purple Bird

"Hold still," Veronica - Lance's sister - laughed as she pulled the eyeliner away from Keith's eye.

"It tickles," Keith smiled and looked in the mirror. Her face was half done by Veronica and the other side was an attempt by herself.

Veronica's work was precise and smooth. Keith's...yeah horrid.

Lance was even doing a better job to his face and he wasn't even trying. "What?" Lance looked up from lining his lips with a red pencil.

"Why are you so good at this?" Keith groaned and snapped the eyeliner pencil in frustration.

"Hey!" Veronica giggled and picked up the two halves, "you owe me a new pencil."

"Sorry," Keith groaned and looked at the makeup spread out on the counter, "I'm not any good at this..."

"It takes time." Veronica smiled, "I didn't learn this overnight." She placed a comforting hand on Keith's shoulder.

"Yeah I learned just by watching all the woman in my house." Lance capped the lipstick. "We can binge YouTube tonight babe. I'll get the popcorn ready."

Keith gave a small smile her heart sinking, "I need some air." She got up and put her newly lengthed and straight black hair into a high ponytail. "I'm going for a run." She took the makeup wipes and cleaned her face off.

 "You okay?" Lance looked worried. "Just need some air." Keith shrugged, "I'll be back in an hour or so." She walked out the door and headed to the closet and pulled out a pair of jogging pants and a top.

A _Pink_ bag hid in the corner and Keith reached out to look inside. She didn't want to but it looked right at her begging to be opened. She moved the pink paper aside to reveal five bralettes, yoga pants, and four sports bras and a sweater.

Keith looked down at her small formed chest and ran her fingers over it before looking at the bras.

Taking a look around she took the bra and pushed the bag back into the corner and slipped the bra on and threw on a shirt and headed out the door without saying bye.

~~~

"Keith!" Shiro raced after Keith who consciously decided to ignore him when she walked out the door.

"We need to talk. I'm sorry."

Keith rolled her eyes and continued jogging, trying to push Shiro out of mind.

"Don't be stubborn! I know I messed up and I'm sorry."

Keith spun around, "you fucked up good Shiro! How could you! After calling me your sister! After all, you've done for me! I did not need to hear that remark coming from you! How could you!"

Shiro took ahold of Keith's arms and grabbed on tight, looking into her eyes. Keith could see Shiro's grey eyes filled with sorrow, wet and glossy like he was holding back tears, "you didn't deserve to be treated like that from me, or Griffin. By me especially...Griffin you can get over I know you did but me, no..."

Keith kept a stern face as Shiro looked down in shame, "Keith...I'm sorry...I didn't mean anything by that remark, and if I did at the time I don't remember...Keith all I know is I said something that has ruined our relationship. I want you back at the Garrison, I want you back as a friend and a sister."

Keith looked right at Shiro still not saying a word.

"You're a good pilot...better than me at some things. Keith..." Shiro sighed, "just come back to the Garrison. If you don't want to be associated with me that's fine."

Keith nodded and looked down at her own shoes, "I never want to leave you Shiro...I feel like I have in many ways."

"What do you mean?"

"Lance...Shiro I'm sorry that you don't have Adam, you don't have anyone to hold at night...I know you're hurting and I feel like I've let you down..."

"No. No Keith you haven't. I was the one who let you down" Shiro lifted Keiths face up, "besides, Lance and you are perfect for each other, he loves you so much. You deserve someone like Lance, someone who is there for you all the time no matter how ugly things get."

Keith's eyes started to tear up, "Shiro..."

"I know you've been there for me through it all, you believed in me and made me the person who I am today. You saved me, and I am forever thankful.  But your love is for Lance and I couldn't ask for anything more from you.  
Adam knew what he was fighting for, he was brave and courageous. Even though he's done I've learned to accept that his memory is everlasting. I still have Adam and I still want you in my life. One day my prince will come but Karen, don't lose Lance because of me."

Keith looked at Shiro, his eyes dripped with tears, as were Keiths.

"I'm sorry..."

"No, don't be." Shiro pulled Keith into a hug, Keith felt safe and welcomed in Shiro's grasp, she forgave Shiro and she knew Shiro knew this too.

Keith's voice was small, "I'm getting surgery in a month...top surgery..."

Shiro smiled, "yea?"

Keith looked up, "yea...then I'll be going by Karen."

"Okay." Shiro smiled.

~~~

"Hey." Lance smiled as Keith walked in letting her hair down. Cosmo ran over and welcome Keith with kisses and barks. In return she rubbed the wolfs ears but looked right at Lance, "you know you mean the world to me right?"

Lance smiled, "yea."

"I love you so much Lance...."

Lance got up and took hold of Keith's face, "what's going on?"

Keith bit her trembling lip. Lance pulled her into a hug, "I love you so much Keith, and I'm not ever going to stop loving you."

Keith nodded and buried her face into Lance's neck, "Lance..."

"Yes?"

"Call me Karen right now please."

Lance kissed Keith's head and whispered in her ear, "I love you, Karen."

Keith burst into tears and sobbed, holding onto Lance tight and not wanting to let him go.

"I'm so sorry Lance...I don's deserve you. Lance..." Keith held onto Lance's shirt not wanting to let go, "I feel like I don't give you enough credit for all you do for me. I've been so stuck up on my relationship with Shiro I lost you along the way..." Keith sobbed. "I..."

"Oh shut it pretty." Lance lifted her face and looked at her, "as I said I won't let you go, no matter what. I know Shiro means the world to you but I also know I mean the universe to you. Shiro is your brother but I am your husband. Karen, I'm never going to be jealous about the relationship you have with Shiro, because I know at the end of the day you're coming back home to me, I'm the only one who you can be completely vulnerable with."

Keith looked up at Lances, tears slowly drying in her red eyes, "I don't deserve you."

"Stop saying that babe. I don't deserve you either. You could've easily fallen into Shiro's arms but you chose me for some odd reason. We are two very different people but yea you chose me." Lance smiled.

Keith bit her lip, "when I get my top surgery I want to only wake up with you in the room. I want to get married as soon as possible too..." She cupped Lance's face, "I want to marry you so bad...I don't want to wait."

Lance smiled and put his nose on hers and closed his eyes, "can do Karen. Can do love."

 


	10. Being Brave (Final Day)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day has come and Keith can't get her thoughts to stop racing. "What if..."  
> But Lance is always there, and will forever be the rock to keep Keith pushing forward and reminding her, "you are brave."

Keith slipped back into bed and just stared at the ceiling. Her heart was racing and her stomach was in knots. Tomorrow morning was the day, her life would change forever.

"You okay?" Lance yawned and rolled over, "you've been in and out of bed over twenty times."

Keith turned to look at Lance and bit her lip, "I'm fucking nervous Lance...What happens if things just get worse for me?"

Lance cupped Keith's face and smiled, "it won't. Just take a deep breath, everything will be okay? The Dr's know what they're doing, the whole Voltron crew is supporting you all the way. And you've got me." 

Keith cuddled into Lance and took a deep breath closing her eyes, "I can't get this feeling to leave...I swear one more time in the bathroom and my gut will be the cleanest it's ever been."

Lance laughed making Keith smile into his chest; enjoying the feeling of the laugh vibrating through his body.

"I mean we do have a wonderful Febreeze. It smells so tropical. I give you permission to spray away."

Keith laughed hard into him clutching onto his shirt as unexpected tears slipped. "I don't know what to feel!" Keith smiled and wiped the tears away.

"Feel confident, pretty as the Febreeze takes you to the tropics where you're sitting on the beach in a hot new bikini top showing that cleavage. Just imagine all those men wanting you."

Keith looked up at Lance, "this is really happening hu?"

Lance looked down and smiled, "of course it is, and it's going to be exciting. You are going to make a wonderful bride." He cupped her face and smiled and kissed her, "I can't wait to see you coming down the aisle."

Keith smiled, "you don't think I'm pushing this too fast?"

Lance shook his head, "no, I think you know how fast you need to go. Whatever is comfortable for you. I know you think things through before jumping right into it...well sometimes."

Keith slapped Lance's arm, "thanks."

Lance laughed and hugged her tight, "tomorrow is a big step and I'm so proud of you."

Keith smiled closing her eyes and letting herself melt into Lance's grasp.

~~~

Keith stepped off the last step and clutched her jacket close. Hair was a disaster but she didn’t have the ability to even care to fix it.

“Hello sweetie!” Krolia walked over and hugged Keith and kissed the top of her head, “how are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

Krolia looked down at Keith and cupped her face, “why?”

“Nervous that’s all.” Lance smiled, “cars packed, you ready?”

Keith shook her head, “no…”

“It’ll be done and over with.” Krolia smiled and kissed Keith’s forehead, “when you wake up things will all feel better.”

“And I’ll be there as soon as you wake.” Lance smiled and rubbed Cosmo’s ears.

Tears slipped down Keith’s cheeks, her chest felt heavy, and her feet felt glued to the ground.

“Nothing is going to go wrong sweetie.” Krolia wiped the tears from her daughter's eyes and smiled.

Keith latched onto Krolia and sobbed, “I’m so scared.”

“I know baby…” She held tight onto Keith not wanting to let go. Lance walked over and put a hand on Krolia’s shoulder, “it’s time to go.”

She let go of Keith and gave a smile, “call me as soon as she wakes up!”

“I will.” Lance took Keith’s hand and they headed out the door.

Keith’s vision became tunnel vision. The car was the only thing she could see. Everything else was a fog. The only sound that she could hear in this early morning was the sound of her racing heart. It raced and pounded, it was surely going to explode.

Lance opened the door and helped Keith get in before getting himself comfortable and on their way.

Keith clutched her knees to her chest and bit her lip, silent tears slipped, “why am I so scared…” Keith whispered.

“It’s completely normal. I’ve been reading a lot about this…”

“You read?” Keith looked over at Lance. Lance looked at Keith, “oh you’re so funny.”

Keith gave a small smile, “it means a lot.”

“What does?”

“Reading into this…Lance…I know this may be the dumbest thing you probably ever heard…”

“No. No, it’s not dumb.” Lance looked at Keith, “it’s not. Don’t try to push these feelings down because I know this is who you are. I know you do too. What’s the worst thing that could happen? James beats the shit out of you? So what? I’ll beat the shit out of him. We get fired and live happily ever after in an early retirement.”

Keith smiled looking at the ground, “I just…I’m so used to feeling all this shit you know…I never knew how to express my feelings, explore my feelings and just…I didn’t know what to do with my feelings…With all this happening I’m scared…I just…”

Lance looked at Keith and put his hand on her leg, “give your worries to me, there’s nothing you need to be scared about. Karen.”

Keith lifted her head, “what…”

“Karen, that’s your name no? Come on girl, you are a confident person. You don’t take shit from people, hell you didn’t take shit from me.”

Keith smiled again resting her chin on her knees, “no and look where that got me? I’m stuck with you forever.”

“Oh boy, the tragedy.” Lance smiled, “but you know what I’m getting at? You are so brave, confident, loved and beautiful. Karen, this is an exciting moment in your life, don’t ruin it by thinking ‘what if?’ You deserve more than ‘what if’. You deserve to be yourself. And Karen, That. Is. Who. You. Are.”

“Lance…”

Lance squeezed her leg, “I love you Karen.”

“I love you too.”

~~~

“Hot.” Lance smirked as Keith walked out of the change room in the gown, “my ass is showing. I thought they changed this shit. Thank god they allowed me to keep my underwear on.”

“Wish they didn’t.” Lance whistled as Keith made her way to the bed and sat down, “is the Dr here?”

“Why yes, names Dr.Kogane and I declare you drop dead gorgeous!”

Keith rolled her eyes, “you’re pathetic.”

“Is that how you treat a Dr?”

“Only you.”

Lance smiled and sat beside Keith, “want me to leave when the Dr. comes in?”

“No…stay.” Keith took Lance’s hand and intertwined her fingers into his and squeezed, “don’t leave yet.”

The Dr. walked in and smiled and pulled the curtain to give some privacy. “Alright.” She smiled, “you’re staying are you?” She eyed Lance.

“Yes, this one won’t let me go.”

The Dr. smiled, “alright, if you want to lift your gown up, I want to take a quick look to see how the hormones are coming along, and from there I’ll draw where the incisions are going to be made.”

Keith’s hands trembled as she gripped the bottom of her gown, “Lance…I can’t do this…”

“Yes, you can.” He placed his hands on hers, “together.” He squeezed as Keith nodded and closed her eyes as they slowly lifted the gown up. Keith said a silent prayer of thanks for being allowed to keep underwear on.

Lance smiled, “let go. I’ll hold.”

Keith nodded, “why is this so hard…I should be so excited about this!” She flinched when the Dr. started the examination.

“I know it’s scary, you’ve been in a body for over 20 years that you have never felt comfortable with. Now that changes are happening it’s scary. There’s so much going on in your mind Karen, let your mind rest and remember, you’re beautiful.”

Tears slipped as Keith nodded.

“You can put the gown down. Lay back and the Nurse will be in to take you to the OR okay.” The Dr. capped the marker lid and stepped back, “I’ll keep this pulled.” She smiled and left, leaving the curtain drawn.

“Can I look?”

Keith looked at Lance and bit her lip and lifted her gown again.

Lance smiled and kissed her nose, “you’re so brave.” He kissed gently on Keith’s soft and forming chest, “so brave.”

Keith held onto Lance’s face keeping him close to her chest and sobbed.


	11. Wedding (A New Chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance held his bride close and breathed. Karen smiled closing her eyes, "you were my support, you never doubted me." She looked up as Lance looked down into her purple eyes and kissed her nose and spoke, "you always say you don't deserve me but god, I don't deserve you."
> 
> Karen bit her lip, "we don't deserve each other but that's what makes us work."
> 
> Lance laughed gently, "you should write poetry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the end, I really hope I didn't leave any unanswered questions. I didn't feel like I could write what happened after the surgery since I felt I left it at a soft intimate moment that I couldn't really mess with.  
> If any questions need to be answered let me know and I'll make sure I fill in the gaps.  
> As always thank you for reading and coming along this journey. I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did writing it!
> 
> xoxo Purple Bird

Karen's hands trembled as she tried to put on the necklace. She insisted she had a dress that had a neckline that would allow her to put the necklace on that Lance had given her.

"Relax." Krolia came and clasped the necklace.

"I'm so nervous..." Karen touched the roses in her hair to make sure it was still in place.

Krolia smiled, "well I'd be shocked if you weren't" She fixed the rose a smudge, "but don't worry you look gorgeous." She took her hand and walked her to the full-length mirror and smiled, "see."

Karen looked herself in the mirror and ran her trembling hands over the silk dress. The sleeves were long and laced, with a scoop neckline and the back was laced up. Her hair done up in a side bun with two big roses placed. 

Her chest now a size that finished her figure. Smiling she placed her hands on her chest and breathed, feeling it rise and fall.

"Makeup is even amazing." Krolia smiled as Karen touched her lips. Her face was done by Veronica since she didn't have the confidence just yet to do her own face. She was thankful that she was willing to help out.

There was a knock on the door and Krolia went over to investigate, "Oh hello, are we ready?"

"We are." Shiro's voice was heard. Karen's heart raced, the time was coming, she was going to be walking down the aisle in a matter of seconds.

"Would you liked to speak to her before we head down?"

"Please." Karen looked over her shoulder at them, "just for a minute."

Krolia smiled, "we have a minute to spare?"

"Of course." Shiro smiled, Krolia kissed Shiro's cheek and walked out and shut the door gently behind her.

"How are you?" Shiro went over to the opened bottle of tequila and poured two shots.

"Fucking nervous." Karen sighed and slipped on her shoes. Shiro smiled and handed her a shot glass, "one for good luck."

Karen smiled and took it and shot it back, "so, what do you think of your date?"

"He's..." Shiro thought, "handsome but I haven't had much time to talk to him."

"Lance swears you two will end up being married."

Shiro laughed, "oh that's far from my mind at the moment." He smiled and looked at his watch, "it's time."

Karen nodded and took a deep breath, "can I have another shot?"

"No." Shiro took her hand and led her out, "she's ready."

Krolia smiled and looked away from the window, "perfect, the sun is at the peak of the sunset."

Shiro smiled and hugged Karen before walking out.

Krolia took her daughter's hand and smiled, "It's an honor walking you down."

Karen smiled and squeezed it as she took her bouquet before walking out of the small dessert shack.

The sky was lit in pink, blue, oranges and purples in the desert sky. The four lions sat and illuminated the aisle that Karen would walk down.

The audience was small, but they were the ones that Karen and Lance felt deserved to share this moment.

Lance looked and smiled when he saw Karen standing on the steps.

The audience looked too and quickly got to their feet as she started to walk down. Her heart raced quicker than she ever experienced, but she was happy.

Krolia hugged Karen tight and then Lance before taking her seat next to Kolivan.

Karen handed her bouquet to Shiro and looked at Lance who quickly took her hands in his. 

"Woah." He mouthed which caused Karen to blush and look at her feet.

"As we gather here today." Coran started, Karen couldn't listen, she was too focused on Lance, she tried reading his lips as he spoke his vows but this experience was all surreal.

When it was her turn to say the vows she had to quickly find her words and speak. They were short, but she didn't think she would manage longer vows.

Lance placed an elegant ruby ring inspired by a flower on her finger. Lance insisted he wouldn't show her the ring he bought, that it was to be a surprise. She was glad she didn't snoop around to look for it.

The time had come and Lance pulled Karen into a kiss. Her shaking body ceased and eased into Lance' warm grasp as she wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled, she felt whole, she felt safe.

Pulling back Lance smiled a single tear slipping down his face. Karen brought her hand up and gently wiped it and smiled, "I love you." She mouthed. Lance took her hand and held it on his cheek, "I love you too." He mouthed back.

~~~

 

Karen looked at Lance who struggled to unbutton his shirt.

She walked over and with soft fingers undid the buttons and smiled looking up at him. Lance looked down and cupped her face and smiled, "what did I do to deserve a beautiful bride like you?"

Karen smiled and hugged him tightly, resting her head on his chest, "you held my hand through and through." She whispered and listened to his soft beating heart.

Lance held his bride close and breathed. Karen smiled closing her eyes, "you were my support, you never doubted me." She looked up as Lance looked down into her purple eyes and kissed her nose, "you always say you don't deserve me but god, I don't deserve you."

Karen bit her lip, "we don't deserve each other but that's what makes us work."

Lance laughed gently, "you should write poetry."

Karen giggled, "yea no. By the way, I didn't hear your vows..."

Lance smiled, "I really didn't hear yours either."

They both laughed before pulling apart.

"I love you mullet." Lance winked and led her to the bed and sat down and pulled her onto him.

Karen smiled as Lance ran his hands through her freshly let down hair and spoke, "you're the strongest person I know, brave. So brave. You know what you want, you are confident and you don't take shit from me."

Karen laughed, "did you say that in your vows?"

"No." Lance smiled, "I said the first half and followed it by when we first met I didn't think we would ever be together. The more time I spent with you the more I made myself promise I'd protect you, love you and be there for you when no one else would. I would do everything and anything to make sure you were safe. I still do, I'm not going anywhere no matter what happens. I love you and that's all that matters."

Karen looked down into his eyes her eyes glossing over, "I said something similar."

"Oh?"

"I said, Lance, I never expected to fall for a loser like you."

Lance laughed, "no!"

Karen smiled, "yea! I did say that."

Lance laughed hard pulling her into his chest, "do I want to hear the rest?"

"Well, I do call you a winner in the end."

"Okay, that's good." He laughed again and closed his eyes, "I love you so much Karen Kogane."

Karen buried her face into his chest and smiled, "I love you too Lance Kogane."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for making it to the end! Just a heads up this is newer territory for me to explore in my writing. I don't want to offend anyone. If there's a problem let me know, please! I want to make sure we are all happy!
> 
> Last, if there are any tips about how to write about transgender transformations and mental changes and feelings about all this, please contact me! I want to make this feel real.  
> Enjoy!  
> xoxo Purple Bird


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